A little overwhelmed

First, I would like to thank Jennie, Casie, and Aunt Candie for the WONDERFUL shower they had for me and baby this weekend in Mansfield! I'll post pictures as soon as they send some to me :). The cake was adorable! They asked the guests to bring books to help develop the baby's library, which was great! I love to read, so hopefully this will help pass that trait on. The nursery is coming along. We'll post pictures of what it looks like so far shortly. But suffice to say, it finally looks like a baby's room instead of just a room. We had our second childbirth class this week. The first one was just a basic introduction to the third trimester. Most of the information was a review for Kenny and I. We did discuss when the water breaks, which was something I hadn't heard a whole lot about. The second class went over the labor process. We got to watch a video of birth and delivery of the placenta. I've seen birth videos before but, probably because I wasn't pregnant when I saw those, they didn't seem as traumatizing. Maybe it wasn't the video itself that was traumatizing, but more so of the discussion afterwards. I wasn't too freaked out by the whole idea of labor before but I'm definitely getting there now. Kenny keeps saying he hopes I have a short one because he's a little scared for me. They were talking about how much everything stretches, the amount of time contractions last, the amount of time labor lasts, the window of opportunity for the epidural, positions to help ease labor, trying to focus on something other than the pain, etc. Somewhere in all of that discussion the disturbing thought that I was going to have to deal with all of this and that didn't settle too well for me. To follow up this class, I went home and started to read the assigned chapter for my pathology class. Bad idea. This week we were talking about congenital defects and developmental diseases. I'll just say that I didn't finish the reading. I was also going through "old" pictures last night and was hit with the realization that I may never look like that again. Needless to say, last night was really depressing and I was getting pretty stressed out. Kenny, thankfully, knows how to deal with me when I'm like this and got me to breathe and relax. He put to practice some of the massage techniques we learned in the birthing class and helped me practice my "cleansing breath." I finally was calm enough that I didn't think I was going to cry and could actually fall asleep. I'm feeling much better today. I think it was just the initial shock of all of that at once. Other than that, I am feeling pretty well. I am having some hip pain and swelling in my hands and feet, but I'm pretty sure that is nothing unusual. I've been getting tired, but my mood and general state of mind have been pretty good. Kenny and I are both starting to get very excited and are looking forward to the next couple of months and all that it brings.